Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Maybe He Had Tickets To Billy Elliot

Bundle Up Pittsburgh!



We’ve yet to hear from God’s Mouthpiece Pat Robertson on just why He (that is, God) decided to spare the Big Apple while coming down so hard on Washington and points west, which are actually going to be smacked again. Look, God, it was funny the first time (well, actually, it wasn’t). But now it’s just getting stale.
         
X-posted at “my, those paddles tickle!” newly undead Snarkopolitan.

Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/09/10 at 01:58 AM
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Categories: ImagesMessylaneousSkull Hampers

Monday, February 08, 2010

RIP John Murtha

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John Murtha died today at the age of 77. More from The New York Times and The Washington Post. Sympathies to his family, friends and colleagues.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/08/10 at 01:57 PM
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Categories: NewsPolitics

Parent Trap

I know we’re not supposed to question the parenting skills of The. Best. Mother. Ever., but after dragging Piper around on the general election campaign trail and the Going Rogue book tour, Mama Bear thinks it’s a good idea to airlift her nine-year-old daughter into Texas to campaign for Rick Perry? Really? Seriously, why was this necessary?

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read the whole post »

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/08/10 at 08:04 AM
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Categories: ImagesPoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Monday Morning Music: St. Vincent’s “Laughing with a Mouth of Blood”

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/08/10 at 07:10 AM
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Categories: MusicMusic VideosYouTubidity

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Super Bowl Open Thread

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Go Saints!

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/07/10 at 04:00 PM
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Categories: Sports

Food prøn: Heart-healthy snax edition

Actual food offerings at the Florida State Fair circa 11:00 o’clock this morning:

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I didn’t have fried butter, Oreos or Pepsi—I was still feeling nauseated from eating a funnel cake and riding the Tilt-a-Whirl just prior to spotting this booth. Maybe next year.

PS: Geaux Saints!

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/07/10 at 02:40 PM
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Categories: Food

Hand Jive With Sarah Palin

  Imagine if she DIDN"T know the questions in advance!



Pardon me for enjoying this all a little too much. But since Sarah Palin couldn’t manage pre-screened, canned questions from the friendliest audience since Edger Bergen was in vaudeville, without studying whatever was written on her palm, I am declaring that from now on, hands shall be known as “Wingnut Teleprompters.”

Palinophiles should just be grateful; I could have titled this post something else.

(h/t jeffinfremont) 

~~UPDATE * UPDATE~~EXCLUSIVE FROM THE RUMPNEWSROOM

Citing “just being sick and tired of dealing with Mo—you’re not recording this, are you?”, an anonymous source within the Palin campaign slipped us this photo from the Opryland greenroom of what was on Sarah’s hand BEFORE she wiped some of it off!

HOW'S THAT HANDYPROMPTER THING WORKIN' FOR YA, SARAH?



         

X-posted at newly revived and thriving Snarkopolitan. Thanks to all the busy bees who helped me!   
~~~UPDATE VIDEO BELOW THE FOLD~~~   

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Posted by Mrs. Polly on 02/07/10 at 12:10 AM
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Saturday, February 06, 2010

Ask Swami T’Bhag: What Totally Fucked-Up Shit Will Sarah Say Tonight?

While Reagan was shamelessly flattered by pundit-class suck-ups as “The Great Communicator,” Sarah Palin is looking more and more like “The Great Regurgitator”—endlessly recycling the same half-dozen lines of puffy, weightless, cold-cereal rhetoric and haphazardly dumping them into every public utterance like styrofoam packing peanuts around a cheap, patriotically-themed snow-globe.

Swami T’Bhag, the Retroactive Prognosticator and Oracle of the Obvious, indicates that we will most certainly encounter the following formulations in tonight’s Keynote Address to the Tea Party Nation: 

—The Wisdom of Reagan
—Commonsense Solutions
—Small Government Serving the Voters
—Patriotic Americans/“We the People”
—Founding Fathers’ Intent
—Midnight Politics/Backroom Deals/Bribery
—“The Chicago Way”
—Reckless, Out-of-Control Spending
—Miranda Rights for Terrorists
—Weakening/Undermining America’s National Security
—Socialism/Communism (or the new, improved variant “Bolshevik”)
—“Trig”

Beyond that, Swami T’Bhag’s vision grows dim, and could use a little more ice and a fresh lime garnish. But he is convinced beyond doubt that Our Lady of the Permanent Fund Dividend will use tonight’s speech to introduce an altogether new and heretofore unheard meme of bullshit bumpersticker boilerplate. Whatever will it be?

Posted by StrangeAppar8us on 02/06/10 at 05:59 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah Palin

Spanking Pantload

If you’re snowed in and looking for a good read Thers has a great suggestion.

Goldberg’s sputtering response to the smackdown of Liberal Fascism and everything he says in it by actual, you know, historians, is priceless.  Shorter Goldberg:  Why can’t fascism just mean whatever I want it to mean?  *whine*.

Posted by marindenver on 02/06/10 at 04:31 PM
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Categories: MessylaneousPoliticsBarack ObamaBedwettersNutters

Fernwood 2 Night’s “Talk to a Jew”

A lot of folks enjoyed our last Fernwood 2 Night post, so here’s one of the show’s more controversial (and very funny) bits, freshly uploaded to YouTube, from this hard-to-find, grossly underrated 70’s sitcom starring Martin Mull and Fred Willard.

Posted by Kevin K. on 02/06/10 at 01:30 PM
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Categories: Knee SlappersRelijunTelevisionYouTubidity

Teabaggers and Birfers and Racists, Oh My!

I’ve been following The Washington Independent’s Dave Weigel on Twitter for some time now.  It’s been especially fun the past day or so as he’s been assigned the plum Opryland Teabagger Prom assignment.

He’s told us just today that our good buddy Andrew Breitbart is the sane one in an argument between Andrew and Joseph Farah from World Net Daily who spent minutes of a 40 minute speech last night telling the assembled that Barack Obama is not legally eligible for the presidency and whatever other birfer nonsense he spews on a daily basis.  This led to a dust-up between Farah and Breitbart that you can read all about here

Some highlights:

It’s self-indulgent, it’s narcissistic, it’s a losing issue,” Breitbart told (WND’s Chelsea) Schilling. “It’s a losing situation. If you don’t have the frigging evidence — raising the question? You can do that to Republicans all day long. You have to disprove that you’re a racist! Forcing them to disprove something is a nightmare.

“It is a winning issue!”

“It’s not a winning issue.”

“It is! It becomes even more of a winning issue when the press abrogates its responsibility–”

“You don’t recognize it as a fundamentally controversial issue that forces a unified group of people to have to break into different parts? It is a schism of the highest order.”

“Nothing exposes the president’s–”

“Then prove it!”

“The press isn’t asking the question–”

“Prove it!”

“Prove what?”

“Prove your case.”.

read the whole post »

Posted by gimmeabreak on 02/06/10 at 12:04 PM
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Categories:

Teabagger Convention Goes Off The Rails

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Tom Tancredo ODs on multiculturalism

Joseph Farah of World Net Daily goes full birther.

Tom Tancredo, the keynote speaker, can barely contain his racism.

All told to the mighty crowd of….600 registered Teabaggers.

Posted by Tom65 on 02/06/10 at 07:03 AM
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Categories: PoliticsElection '10BedwettersPUMAsNuttersSarah PalinSkull Hampers

Friday, February 05, 2010

It’ll NEVER get that cold in Hell

I’m filing this under “Not Bloody Likely in this Version of Reality” [via Poolitico - sorry!]:

“She hasn’t been chosen,” said Dave Rilling, a 76-year-old retiree from Gaffney, S.C. “She’ll have to compete like anyone else,” he said, listing former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal as other potential standard-bearers, and suggesting Palin needs to articulate clearer stances on a wider range of issues.

El Oh El.

Also, you betcha:

Palin also has endeared herself to tea partiers in recent months by endorsing movement candidates including Doug Hoffman of New York and Rand Paul of Kentucky in their congressional primary campaigns against GOP establishment-backed candidates.

This has given me a brilliant idea: Get Sarah Palin to endorse Al Qaida and the Taliban.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 02/05/10 at 10:54 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSarah PalinOur Stupid Media

Ce n’est pas un dog whistle*

The Teabagging/Crisco party in Nashville, TN is shaping up to be everything I hoped it would be. Tom Tancredo, the puke puddle that walks like a man, got things rolling when he joyfully threw away his dog whistle and pulled an air horn out of his capacious ass (via Think Progress):

The opening-night speaker at first ever National Tea Party Convention ripped into President Obama, Sen. John McCain and “the cult of multiculturalism,” asserting that Obama was elected because “we do not have a civics, literacy test before people can vote in this country.”

OK. Granted, this is Tom Tancredo, arguably one of the stupidest vertebrates to ever draw breath in the U.S.H.o.R., even if you count the mice. It is possible this steaming butt nugget doesn’t know the sort of tests he mentions were outlawed by an act of Congress when Tom was about 20 years old.

In other words, if we did things Tom’s way, he wouldn’t be allowed to vote.

Hmm…

Nah.

Anyway, I think Tom knew exactly what he was saying and I’m really glad he said it. The GOP desperately wants to control, or form alliances with, or at least avoid being viciously mauled by the Teabaggers. At the same time they’re trying to convince people that we’re the party of scary radical goons and (my favorite part) convince people like me that I should vote for them because the Democrats are the real racists.

Two-legged ass stains like Tom make this impossible. And they create some awesome political theater along the way.

[xp 300]

*Thnx to YAFB for the correction and saving from the wrath of my French professors.

Posted by Hunger Tallest Palin on 02/05/10 at 05:45 PM
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Categories: PoliticsNuttersSkull Hampers

The Sultan of Schwing

From the Foreign Policy blog:

Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do with his name—which, in Arabic, translates to “biggest dick.”

Insecure wankers. Just the other day a man named Dick Swett got to ask our president a question.

[H/T: Sully]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/05/10 at 04:08 PM
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Categories: NewsPolitics

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