Wayne’s (Insane) World

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On Planet Earth this morning, my family and I got up, breakfasted on scrambled eggs, toast, coffee and orange juice. Then my husband left for work, and shortly thereafter, I drove my daughter to school and came back home.

At no point during our morning routine were we required to employ an AR-15 to lay withering cover fire to repel the menacing gangs of Latin American drug lords who threatened to accost us as we moved from home to chicken coop, from house to vehicle or from vehicle to school building or workplace. That’s because we don’t live in Wayne LaPierre’s Insane World [warning—link to Bowtied Wingnuttia]:

It has always been sensible for good citizens to own and carry firearms for lawful protection against violent criminals who prey on decent people.

During the second Obama term, however, additional threats are growing. Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States. Phoenix is already one of the kidnapping capitals of the world, and though the states on the U.S./Mexico border may be the first places in the nation to suffer from cartel violence, by no means are they the last.

At some point today, I’m going to have to visit the grocery store, and if I somehow emerge from that riotous hellscape of looters and drug-addled violent criminals unscathed, it’s entirely possible that al Qaeda terrorists will murder me in the parking lot to steal my 2001 Beetle or my green bag containing pet food and a baguette:

Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face—not just maybe. It’s not paranoia to buy a gun. It’s survival. It’s responsible behavior, and it’s time we encourage law-abiding Americans to do just that.

Yes, law-abiding citizens who want to model responsible behavior must purchase additional firearms, because 300 million guns clearly isn’t enough:

We will not surrender. We will not appease. We will buy more guns than ever. We will use them for sport and lawful self-defense more than ever. We will grow the NRA more than ever. And we will be prouder than ever to be freedom-loving NRA patriots. And with your help, we will ensure that the Second Amendment remains America’s First Freedom.

We will Stand And Fight.

Honest to god, if the only danger was that these people would accidentally shoot their own dicks off, this would be positively comedic. But this insane death huckster has a controlling interest in many of our congresscritters. Goddammit, fellow sane people, this needs to change.

[X-posted at Balloon Juice]

Posted by Betty Cracker on 02/14/13 at 08:32 AM • Permalink

Categories: PoliticsNutters

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I would love to hear LaPierre comment on the “accidental” domestic violence shooting by the sports star of his glamorous girlfriend—which end of “good firearm safety” does that reflect? He either accidentally shot her to death—like the scene in justified when the coked up whore ellen mae accidentally shoots her judge/john when he dresses up as a bear—or he deliberately shot her to death in a domestic violence incident accelerated and enabled by the fact that apparently he’s paranoid enough to need both a hand gun and a machine gun at the ready at all times.


Also: I’ll repeat what I posted in a comment thread at SteveM’s about this topic: there are a lot of people for whom this is their fantasy reality. Mr. Aimai works with an ex military dude with three daughters (we have two). This guy is an ex sinner (self professed) married to an ex sinner/fast woman, saved by Jesus, red stater. He was honestly shocked when he discovered that we sent our (then 15) year old precious daughter on the bus from CAMBRIDGE to BOSTON every day to school unarmed. He wasn’t joking. Public transportation is something that only poor, scary, armed people use in his world and cities like boston hell holes of violence.

Sweet Jeebus, Aimai! You let that precious baby get on a Red Line bus without packing? For shame!

PS, I wish I could post at Steve’s site and used to enjoy doing so, but that goddamned Blogger commenting thingie won’t let me do so without jumping through interminable hoops. Le sigh…

Betty, I’m glad I am not the only one with this technological problem.  I loved reading and commenting at Roy’s place, but the new Discus system tells me “there’s nothing for you here now”, won’t let me post OR even read comments there. 

And seriously, Phoenix is a kidnapping capital of the world?  WTF?  Hyperbole much?

String—At Roy’s place it’s never consistent, with Disqus, whether it will accept my nym or insist on my real name, but otherwise I’ve had no problem.  Have you tried using a different browser?

PS, I wish I could post at Steve’s site and used to enjoy doing so, but that goddamned Blogger commenting thingie won’t let me do so without jumping through interminable hoops. Le sigh…


I’m with you. I read it every day but can’t comment and that sucks. Well, maybe not for Steve’s site and the intelligence level of the comments, but for me.

And I’ll have you know, Betty, that me and my two cats have formed an excellent fire team. As I leave for work, one of the cats scampers around my feet and then dashes to the door standing on the threshold with that alert cat-on-guard-duty-look while the other leaps from the kitchen window in true commando fashion and races around to my car to ensure no bad guys have entered the fire zone.

Then, I appear, armed with my trusty semi-automatic in hand in full tactical mode, scanning the neighborhood before I combat crawl through the grass to my car, at all times alert and prepared to return fire on any roving gangs of brown-skinned marauders.

Sure, that means I go to work with muddy and wet clothes, but goddamn it means I am safe.

Oh, yes, I was blocked from SteveM’s site for months—simply couldn’t figure it out. *&^% stupid commenting system. And Roy’s new commenting system is awful—it doesn’t let you know who liked (or disliked) your comments by name and it makes me enter all my fake informaiton again by hand each time I post. I hates it, I do.

Ditto on problems even seeing, let alone reading, comments at Alicublog in the past. I’ve never tried commenting, but at least now the old system’s gone, Disqus will load (if I wait long enough) and there’s the party I’ve been missing.

I wonder if a JavaScript update might help those having trouble nowadays (unless the recent scares mean you’ve disabled it)?

ETA: Also, you could try disabling AdBlock if you’re using it—I’ve had to abandon it altogether as it was causing rampant memory leaks in Firefox with a few tabs open, but a few sites were refusing to work properly with it even before then.

Mr. Wonderful, it all went to crap for me as far as commenting at Roy’s goes when hubby gave me a new PC; love the faster speed, better graphics etc, but a couple of blogs think I’m an alien invader now.  I suppose I could suck it up and try to figure out what the problem is, but I have to admit that having this problem means I have a lot more available hours in the day now….

Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States.

If the wingnuts were capable of rational thought they would realize that these “drug gangs” have a product they are selling on the black market. The only contact people have with them is to buy their product and the only time a person needs to worry about them is if the person either stiffed them on the bill or is setting up a competing “drug gang”.

Basically, it’s pure capitalism with no restraints.

And seriously, Phoenix is a kidnapping capital of the world?  WTF?  Hyperbole much?

So, he’s basically saying that Joe Arpaio is an incompetent slacker.

I understand why gun fetishists are paranoid and shouty, and why shouty paranoiacs are gun fetishists.  Transitive property of mental illness, and all that.

Here’s the great mystery no ever seems capable of explaining to me: what the fuck is their deal with the random capitalization?

P.S., @BBBB:

he’s basically saying that Joe Arpaio is an incompetent slacker.

HA!  We must find a way to troll this into a wingnut fight.

like the scene in justified when the coked up whore ellen mae accidentally shoots her judge/john when he dresses up as a bear

I love Justified. Big Elmore Leonard & Timothy Olyphant fan. That was a great scene.

Its really grown on me—I’ve caught all the way up and am now waiting fot the next episode like everyone else. But I principally watch it for Walt Goggins-and I loved the actress who played Mags. She is one of my favorite actresses and I’ll watch her in anything.

what the fuck is their deal with the random capitalization?
Either a tip of the hat to “sounded better in the original German” or certain “holy” words must  be upper-cased.

I too am very disturbed by Disqus suddenly taking over the comment world, but haven’t had any problems using Chrome (& in general the more browsers available the better) & AdBlock. Are y’all fully registered or signed up or whatever they call it? Just a guess, but their stuff may have been overwhelmed by the zillons forced to register around the new yr. Now that I think of it, I had trouble w/ Disqus while attempting to troll The Daily Caller earlier in the yr., but it works for me there now.

Oh, also too I don’t think it’s JavaScript, as I disabled it the moment the scare started.

JavaScript is actually a different program to Java, and shouldn’t be affected by the Java scare, but I know some folks have disabled it anyway. According to the Disqus website, Disqus relies on JavaScript, which is why I mentioned it.

Hey Betty, I just read your bar tending story over at Balloon Juice; scary.  Pretty amazing what jobs we’ll do as 20 year olds sometimes.

You were smart to quit immediately after that; I had to endure a few recessions/lay-off cycles before I realized the jobs were getting worse (meaning more field time with no partner, so more dangerous), not better, and changed careers.

@ String—that was the nice thing about being a broke college kid: There was always another shitty minimum wage gig out there. Glad you made it through YOUR harrowing ordeal safely!

what the fuck is their deal with the random capitalization?

I think M. Bouffant is right, either a tip o’ hat to the Original German (or the Founders-era English, which still had some of that facet of its German roots); or it’s a flip side of the sneering scare-quoting - snot quotes, I call it - they do of words and phrases they think are liberal.

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