Hard to believe this is how it’s all going to end.
I’d just like to say that it’s been a privilege to co-blog with my fellow ‘Roasters, and I will be thinking of you all tonight as I share a few last, small intimacies with close friends, empty the freezer, cancel my trash pick-up and await the Inevitable.
The creator of the infamous “Willie Horton” TV ad returns with a shocking “gotcha” spot that links Nevada Senator Harry Reid with construction equipment, kick-ass architecture and some totally unrelated allegations of human-trafficking by the Ruler of Dubai.
Sure, Harry saved a major Las Vegas re-development project and a shitload of tax-paying, local-spending union jobs, BUT ZOMIGOD HIS FACE IS IN THE SAME AD WITH A SCARY-LOOKING ARAB AND SOME REALLY FUCKED-UP ARABIC-WANNABE DISPLAY TYPE! OH, AND DID I MENTION THE SLAVES???????
I’d like to think it doesn’t get much lower than this, but it’s still early—and there’s a whole bunch of airtime to fill between now and November.
Wow, Alan Grayson (D-Orlando, FL) didn’t take kindly to Sarah Palin’s unflattering comments about him during a recent appearance in Central Florida. Palin was in town to bolster support for Grayson’s opponents. Here’s how Grayson described it:
Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery. Atypically, Palin was wearing clothes that she had paid for herself. At the end of the event, she shared her recipe for mooseface pie.
In response to Palin’s attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson’s entire name on it. He thanked Palin for alleviating the growing shortage of platitudes in Central Florida. Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting. Grayson also said that Palin really had mastered Palin’s imitation of Tina Fey imitating Palin. Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.
Oh snap! He also described the Frozen Cheesecake Goddess as a “chillbilly” and said, “I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them.”
At the end of the post on Grayson’s website, there’s a button labeled “Tell Alan What You Think.” I think I want to have his Baby Graysons.
Extra sucky Ray Stevens, not-even-close-to-famous for his awful, awful 70’s novelty hit “The Streak,” is back again to prove why wingnuts will never, ever be capable of taking over the music industry. In his latest jag rag for teabaggin’ jerkoffs, Stevens pays homage to Sarah Palin, but according to Ray’s publicist Elroy, who is obviously editing Steven’s Wikipedia page, the satire is sooooo skillfully crafted that anti-Palin people might be fooled:
This music video is about Sarah Palin and it takes the derogatory phrase caribou barbie and twists it around as a compliment. The video uses a Palin impersonator and through the help of sight-gags it takes aim at several high profile newscasters on cable television. The video also parodies Sarah Palin’s image and it’s possible that those who do not like Palin will perhaps misinterpret the song’s meaning as an attack on the former Alaskan Governor instead of hearing it as a pro-Palin message, which it is.
Watch this at your own peril. Stevens has plans for you, Obot.
Everyone’s posting Lady Gaga’s new “Telephone” music video because you get to see her nearly nekkid in it and watch her make out with Steve Buscemi while she’s wearing lit-cigarette sunglasses, but this version of the song, while not great, is much better and the young lady from Pomplamoose would never get nekkid or wear lit-cigarette sunglasses (but I think she might make out with Steve Buscemi)...
Cincinnati hate-radio host Bill Cunningham—the tongue that licks the toilet seat of Rush Limbaugh’s Port-O-Pee—just declared on his national Sunday night Drudge-replacement broadcast that the one and only true, perfect shoo-in Conservative candidate for President in 2012 is Sean Hannity.
No media yet, since the show is live. However, you may remember Bill as the human slime John McCain rebuked for humping the “Hussein” Obama slur at a McQueeg primary rally in 2008.
In the immortal words of Was/Not Was, “Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks.” These loons don’t know anymore which side of the donut hole to screw.
I have no idea what I clicked to get here, but now I can’t contain my excitement at the prospect of looking this professional and empowered, for only a penny-per-month more than the cost of a Glenn Beck-style Survival Seed Garden.
Plus, who could fail to be ensnared by compelling, hypnotic ad copy like this?:
A professional website design establishes you as a serious contender, and catches the eye of your supporters (and, likely, your opponents). More importantly, it gives you credibility. You know you are running a professional campaign, but the world needs to know it too.
Yes, by God, I AM serious…and the world MUST know who I am! Where do I sign…and does this deal include that Tweetie thing?
Sarah Palin hates Health Care Reform so much, she doesn’t care how bad it hurts you to tie your shoelaces or pick up the newspaper on your porch. Hell, she’s young, rich and healthy—and she’s probably never even heard of stenosis—so what does it matter to her as long as you twist your crushed nerves and scoliosis into an upright position to oppose the Dark Machinations of the Kenyan Usurper?
With a Stiff Spine America Must Stand Against Obamacare
Today at 11:24am
If Senator Reid, Speaker Pelosi, and President Obama get their way, soon our country will be changed forever. Using every partisan parliamentary trick in the book (including some they invented just last week), Washington’s Left intends to ram through their takeover of our health care system regardless of the consequences.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but if I have to oppose Obamacare with a stiff spine, I might as well oppose it with my enlarged liver, predisposition to diabetes, diminished lung capacity and melon-sized prostate.
Snark aside, Sarah’s new Facebook emission is chock-full of warmed-over, debunked BOILERPLATE FAIL, which she has apparently recycled in an attempt to remain relevant to somebody, somewhere. I encourage you to read it, if only for the fun of hunting down the implied-Death-Panel “Easter Egg” she has cleverly hidden in the plastic grass of her crouton-padded word salad.
As part of its standing Crisis-of-Faith Response Plan, the Church has moved quickly and aggressively to assign blame to the root cause of priestly perversion—Satan. Teams of Guilt Deflection Specialists have fanned out across the airwaves to echo Vatican Chief Exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth’s dramatic revelation that “the Devil is at work inside the Vatican.”
Meanwhile, Pope Benedict himself has assumed a lead role in marshaling the full force of Ecclesiastical Bureaucratic Dithering as part of an orchestrated effort to make this existential threat to the Church’s Moral Authority “go away”:
He has promised to write a letter soon to faithful in Ireland about decades of systematic abuse in church-run schools, orphanages and other institutions in that predominantly Roman Catholic nation.
The Archdiocese of Munich and Freising, where Benedict served as archbishop from 1977 to 1982, says that a working group, established last month after allegations of abuse in a church-run school, would be expanded to include an external, independent legal office.
No offense to Catholics or Catholicism, but until the Vatican drops the “few bad apples” defense and owns up to the fact that it has a serious systemic problem, videos like this one are going to continue to be funny…if only in a sad and deeply troubling way. Not even the Bishop of Rome owns a rug big enough to sweep this under.
Maha, over at The Mahablog, is doing some myth busting on health care reform herself.
She points out that, despite the Rethugs breathy claims that Dems will be totally screwing themselves in the 2010 elections if they pass health care reform (thanks for the disinterested tip, guys!), the polls in fact show that approval v. disapproval of reforms is just about even. Additionally about 1/3 of those opposing reforms are against them because they don’t go far enough to reform the system (as am I but I still want to see the bill passed and at least get us on our way.)
I knew nothing about Italian pianist/composer Einaudi before I saw this video so I looked him up via the indispensable AllMusic.com and found a quote from him describing the album this song can be found on: “A night-time landscape. A garden faintly visible under the dull glow of the night sky. A few stars dotting the darkness above, shadows of the trees all around. Light shining from a window behind me. What I can see is familiar, but it seems alien at the same time. It’s like a dream—anything may happen.”
Good morning, and I do hope you remembered to set your clocks back 1 hour.*
As is often the case in times of rapid momentous change, Twitter has stepped up to the mark in the face of these developments you may already have heard about:
It’s been a brawl for years, this education culture war that seems to take on a particularly vicious turn in the heart of Texas. The latest and most important round, a drastic revision of the social studies curriculum standards to put a conservative spin on history and economics textbooks, was given preliminary approval after a series of heated meetings of the Texas Board of Education that didn’t do much to improve the image of the nation’s second largest state as a sometimes small-minded political and educational backwater.
In a matter of days last week in Austin, the majority of the 15-member board, insisting they were only trying to offset liberal bias in textbooks, questioned Darwin’s theory of evolution and the constitutional principle of separation of church and state; debated hip-hop and genocide in Darfur; deleted Albert Einstein and Thomas Alva Edison from textbooks; emphasized Christian teachings and fundamentalist values; adopted conservative articles of faith like American exceptionalism; promoted right-wing leaders and organizations like Phyllis Schlafly and the National Rifle Association; and refused to give adequate attention to Hispanic and African American contributions to U.S. and Texas history.
